Throughout my life I have searched for someone to emulate. In every book I’ve read, class I’ve sat in or job I’ve had I’ve observed everyone and tried to determine who my ideal role model is. I just assumed that people find what they want to do in life based on what somebody else is already doing with theirs. I haven’t found anyone that fits this mold.
I recently read the book Career Renegade by Jonathan Fields and the last chapter really stood out to me. It was titled ‘Be Your Own Guru’ and is based on this blog post. (I highly recommend you take two minutes to read it before you continue on with what I’m about to say about it.) As I read the chapter I came to understand, just like he did, that:
“The person I was looking for was the one I would need to become.” – Jonathon Fields
The Ah-Ha Moment
The veil had been lifted from my eyes and I now knew how I had to live my life. Instead of looking for someone to follow I needed to create my own path. I could take pieces of what I had learned from others, but no one was going to be exactly who I wanted to be. No one else is going to do the work for me, walk in my footsteps or be me. I have to lead myself.
Once I started to look at myself and my future in this way I knew that my life needed a change. Anytime I wasted not following my dreams and passions was precious time lost and valuable energy squandered. On that very day I set out a timeline of when I would make the big changes in my life that I have been waiting to do for so long and just exactly what they would be.
Is it Worth the Effort?
Most of my life I have taken the easy route:
- I never studied more than I needed to for tests.
- I quit sports teams when I didn’t fit in with people on them.
- I took a comfortable corporate job after college.
- I rarely exercised because I got bored easily.
- I ate whatever was most convenient.
- I spent a lot of time playing video games.
While I don’t necessarily regret the things I mentioned above because they have made me who I am today, I do wish that I would have been better. Better by being stronger in social situations and not giving up. Better by standing up for what I believed in. Better by going against the grain and not just getting a job based on the salary and benefits.
“It’s not about whether it’s hard or easy, it’s about whether it’s WORTH the effort.” – Jonathon Fields
When I used to decide whether or not to do something I would think about how much work it would be, how hard I’d have to work and whether I could do it quickly. I don’t use that frame of mind anymore. I focus on whether what I am doing is worth the effort I am putting into it, no matter how much effort it takes.
Running this website is not easy and takes more than minimal effort. I pour hours into it each day and I can say without hesitation that it is worth every minute I’ve spent. Every comment, email, tweet and Facebook message helps me to know that I am helping someone and that all my work is worth it.
Be Your Own Guru
So instead of following in someone else’s footsteps or doing what other people tell you to do, create your own path for the future. Look within yourself to find the best expert to help guide you. You might find out that the person that you’ve been looking for is actually you.
If you agree that you need to be your own guru, please let others know by retweeting this post or sharing it on facebook below.
(photo from moriza via Flicker CC 2.0)
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Caleb, this is a fantastic post - a call to arms for everyone to live a life less mediocre. I’m on board 1,000%!
I agree that you should have mentors, but instead of looking for someone living the life that you want, step up and just live it!
I agree that taking the easy route long enough can actually help shape you into who you later become (not that I by any means encourage it). But you have to get to a point where you are so fed up with mediocrity that you yearn for something more. That you become desperate enough to follow your heart without looking back and without regrets.
The easy route can make you lazy or cause you to become lackadaisical towards your life. Holding yourself accountable to following your dreams is the best way to improve your life.
What up Caleb,
Awesome stuff, I totally agree with what you’re saying. It’s hard these days because the standard for a long time, has been to find a mentor and emulate them. So now it’s like that’s the thing to do or something.
I actually got stuck in this trend as well. Sweet read man!
I do think that there are definitely experts to learn from and help develop how you think about certain things, but I think the days are over for finding the one person to model your life after. There are so many great people out there to pull knowledge from.
Yeah I agree, but sometimes with trying to emulate that perfect person. I at least got caught up in wanting to be that person so much, that I forgot about me. Basically, my creative side got all jacked up, because I was using his creativity in reality.
Hi Caleb! Just want to leave you a quick note and say thank you for spending time to write this post, because it did help me! I never really thought of the decision of doing something or not in terms of if it’s worth it or not, but I’m glad I read it today! (better late than never!) “This thing takes too long, I have better easy stuff to do… but wait! IS IT WORTH DOING IT?” Thanks!
Hey Julianna,
Thanks for the nice note. I’m glad my post helped you out.
I feel like it’s similar to buying high-quality things. It’s more money (and time and effort to get that money) to afford them but they make you happier in the end because of how long they last and how well they work. They are expensive but have a high value.
Doing some things can be an incredible amount of work but have high value. I explain backcountry ski touring to people that way. Yes, it’s a lot of work to get up early in the morning, drive hours to the mountain, skin/hike/bootpack hours to the summit of a mountain, all to get one run down. But skiing a first line through deep powder in the pristine beauty of the mountains that most people never get to see is bliss. It’s worth it.
So, I ran across this post a couple of days ago and pondered quite awhile before deciding to comment. First, as you well know, I am quite impressed with you and respect that you seem to really grapple with the person you want to be in the world. There is really only one thing that concerns me about this philosophy and I would like to just do a brain dump (no particular order) to get that out.
I grew up knowing that only I could determine my own character, there were role models, mentors, guides, etc. Anyone that I chose to relate to as a guru did not expect that I would be like them, but I would have their support, encouragement and even correction as I was becoming “me.” So the idea of a guru in my mind is not having someone to emulate as much as having someone who I respected and was willing to be accountable to. Along my journey I have become a “guru” so to speak for many younger people and my desire for them is to be the best “them” that they can be. Some of that may look like what they have seen in me if their style and way of being is similar or desirable to them. But they are truly their own persons and learn to trust their own insights. I am usually guiding them to hear and trust their intuition and helping them recognize the blind spots that often accompany youth.
That said, their youthful vigor provides an opportunity to approach and surpass some areas that may have been boundaries for me. My role there is provide the love and nurture they need when they bump their heads, give ‘em a boost to go back out and try it again - maybe with a bit more wisdom.
Finally, the idea of the guru for me extends to community and understanding that our “individuality” often causes a disconnect when we forget that we are responsible to and for one another. I feel that we let down your generation by trying to be your peers and avoid growing “old.” I can’t tell you the number of younger folks who have told me that their interaction with me was the first time that someone older even bothered to just listen to them without judgment.
We all are responsible for being our own “guru” eventually - but having someone that you can look to (dare I say even more than a mentor) with respect and trust can make the journey fuller and prepare you for the day that you, yes even you…are someone’s “guru.” Keep up the good work Caleb. Reading your stuff brings me joy.
{ 1 trackback }