For the first 3.5 years after college, while working as a desk jockey, I was that person that just settled. My job was “good enough”. It was fulfilling “enough”. I relied on other parts of my life for enjoyment and generally had a “good life”.
What was slowly turning me into a boring, lifeless white-collar worker wasn’t that I getting sick of the recurring tasks at my job, it was that I was afraid to do anything different. I was afraid to try anything else that disrupted the pattern and stability of my life.
When we settle in life, we die just a little bit everyday. This is the worst way to live.
“Most who avoid quitting their jobs entertain the thought that their course will improve with time or increases in income. This seems valid and is a tempting hallucination when a job is boring or uninspiring instead of pure hell. Pure hell forces action, but anything less can be endured with enough clever rationalization.”
- Tim Ferris, The 4-Hour Workweek
Let’s say you got laid off. (You never know, sh** happens.) You might be scared to death that you can’t provide for yourself or your family. Fear is what will motivate you to get off your butt and make your life better.
When you have a comfortable job though, there is no paralyzing uncertainty about when your next paycheck will come. It is easy to just accept being mediocre and live a life that is boring. How do you make your more exciting? Read on and I’ll tell you.
5 Steps to Say Goodbye to a Boring Life
1. Imagine the worst-case scenario
Really think about what the worst thing that could possibly happen is. Would you have to move back home with your parents or live in a van down by the river? Would you have to find a dead-end job doing something that you think is “below you”? (If that is a yes, you need to lose your sense of entitlement.)
Once you have that scenario in mind, realize that there is only a slim chance that it will every happen, but that it can also go in the opposite, more positive direction.
2. If you lost your job today, what would you do to make a living?
So many people don’t have a back-up plan. Don’t let that be you.
Make a list of everything you are even slightly interested in doing for a living. Then, take that list and start learning the basic skills involved with each of them. By doing this you will see whether or not they are actually for you or not.
3. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate
This may sound simple, but really take a look at your life and all of the things you do. Do you tell yourself that you don’t have enough time to do the things that really make you feel alive? Do you have activities that you are involved in that you do just because you are “supposed to” (job included)?
The equation is: want to do’s + have to do’s = your day. Start making more time for the want to do’s and you will be happier.
4. Start making money doing something on the side
Take something that you are already good at and find someone to teach. You’d be surprised what people will pay people to teach them to do when they could just as easily teach themselves. The accountability of having someone to teach them is what people are usually paying for, not the skills of the teacher.
After you have your first client, find another. Then start charging for your services. Create a self-guided product that people can use themselves to learn.
5. Pick a date to make a huge change in your life
Without picking a certain day on the calendar to make a major shift in your life it is simple to easily fall back into what you were doing before. When I left my day job two weeks ago I purposely timed moving from Seattle and embarking on our three month road trip to shock my life into change.
If my wife and I stayed in Seattle we would have easily kept pushing off the escape from my cubicle every month. By setting a date that we were leaving, with both my work and our apartment complex, we held ourselves accountable to the change.
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Living in fear is the worst way to live. By creating a mindset that embraces the fear of the unknown and harnesses the fear to put you into action, there is nothing that can stop you.
What are you afraid of? What are your fears keeping you from doing?
(If you know someone that is settling in life, you can call them out on it. Be the friend that challenges others to be the best they can be. Share this article with them and change their lives for the better.)
image via Flickr





{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
So much great, quotable advice in here that it’s tough to pick one line to pull out. But I’ll go with this: “When we settle in life, we die just a little bit everyday.” I’m only 25, and I can already think of many times where I’ve thought to myself “Pretty soon, my life will be great and everything I want it to be.” I haven’t gotten there yet, and I hate that!
May 25, 2012 is my date for changing my life. There! You heard it here first.
Great meeting you at the conf, Caleb, and I’m looking forward to watching you tear it up on here!
Booyah. I just added 5/25/12 to my google calendar and invited you to the event as well to hold you accountable.
It was great meeting you to Jeffrey. I’m excited to see where the next year takes you too.
Caleb,
Every morning on my way to work, I wonder how much longer I will have to miss out on life blowing a whole day at a job I don’t like. I would quit. I would quit in a heartbeat if I could. But I can’t. Debt has been kicking my ass. School loans, credit cards, and my car. I want to have my own business. I want to able to travel and own my own time. I want to make music and become an internet entrepreneur. But I have to have money and the job that I have isn’t paying enough for me to save a significant amount. I’ve attempted to change my situation, been on numerous interviews, in hopes of receiving a pay increase in order to save for my dreams, but it hasn’t happened yet.
My question to you is, how do i quit my boring life given these circumstances. What would you do? Thanks bro.
Hey Aaron,
Thanks for being so open and posting about your struggles. I would view your situation to be similar to mine not that long ago. Here are some things I would do in your spot:
1. Don’t give up trying for the other jobs & getting pay raises.
2. Figure out how you can start making money on the side immediately. Think of everything that you could help someone with or teach them to do. Then use that money as an escape/starter fund for when you take the leap.
3. Do whatever you can to stay positive. Know that you won’t be in your current situation forever and find ways to learn about yourself through the frustratingly long days at work.
Take a day and really lay out a plan to get to where you want to be in life, even if that is years from now, and make it happen.
You got this.
I appreciate your help and encouragement Caleb. Trying to stay as focused and driven as possible. Congrats on your trek across the country man!
“Imagine the worst-case scenario”
I couldn’t stop laughing when I read that.
I literally say that exact phrase at least 5 times a week to my girlfriend any time she is trying to decide something new or challenging.
I just found your blog and I’m really enjoying it.
keep up the good work Caleb!
thanks
I use that phrase with myself and my wife all the time too. It really helps to keep things in perspective.
Caleb, I’ve just found your blog at the precise period in my life in which I am finally maturing my decision to quit my job (it is not the job for me). I will be reading it nonstop for the next days. I am in the process of developing new endeavors. Keep up the inspiration.
Thanks Anna! Let me know if I can be of help.
Hi, I’m at a stage where I’m getting promoted. I’ve learnt that I’m going to be shunted off to a section at work I won’t like (dry stuff and later hours). I plan to talk to someone and request them for the task I’d rather have but I’m not sure if it will work.
I have almost 20 years experience in my career and I am tired and I don’t want to try any more. I work in an area I’m not passionate about and worry that I cannot handle greater responsibility, subject-wise. But I love the money and the independence that comes with the job, the company at work. Not the work itself.
I worry that if I continue, I’ll hate myself, and if I quit and do not make a living, I’ll hate myself. I work in a prestigious firm so that too is important to me. And I worry that if I let go of a lovely job like this just because I’m lazy and tired, fate will punish me with dire consequences. I don’t have any great skills and interests except writing about a couple of subjects, for which there isn’t much of a market in the city I live in (or so I think). I just want to chill out and work from home. What should I do?
Have any of you felt you’re not up to a certain job? Or am I the only one?
Sorry for the delayed response Sara, but here is what I think.
There are definitely times when you will need to do tasks at a job or during your career that can be frustratingly boring, simple, mindless, or whatever you want to call it. Sometimes you will just need to “suck it up” and do them.
It sounds to me like you have the amount of experience in your current position to speak up and request to spend your time doing things that are more value added to the company you work for. *Don’t be afraid to speak your mind.*
It also sounds like you are looking for something more out of a career than what you currently have. You should take a vacation day or two into a long weekend, go somewhere that is out of the norm (a hotel, camping, somewhere secluded) where you can just sit with a notebook and think about the future of your life.
When you take a step back from the craziness that is “life”, take a deep breath, and spend some time focusing your life back towards what you want it to be, you will feel more grounded.
Focus on improving your life outside work too. Happiness can make almost anything bearable.
I’m gonna go with June 1, 2017!
Yeah Jeff! I love this…congrats! Hope you make your way through Boulder soon so we can meet up. Nice job (pun intended).
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